CAPricious CAPtion 3.5 (we missed a few)

Hey there, CAP-tastic Voyagers, and welcome to another amazing College Avenue Players Newsletter! Spring break may be over, but we're planning on "going wild" throughout April, with all the fun, booze, boobs, and regrets that that entails. And we're also gonna do some plays!


1. Cannibal! The Musical (and also your last chance to get involved this year...)
2. Stand-Up Auditions
3. The College Avenue Players Stand-Up Recession Special (the one that the people who read item #2 just auditioned for)
4. Wacky Hijinks '09
5. CAP Board Elections
6. Date Run-Down for Lazy People

1. Cannibal! The Musical (and also your last chance to get involved this year...)
In just a few days, CAP is proud to lift the curtain (figuratively as we're not actually using a curtain for this show) on an amazing production of Trey Parker's Cannibal! The Musical! Now, some of you may be saying, "Hey, I recognize the name of that show and writer but I can't quite place it...". Well, I'll save those people five seconds of Googling and tell them that Mr. Parker is one of the creators of a little known show named South Park and that Cannibal is what he and fellow SPer, Matt Stone, made before they ever bought the construction paper that became Cartman. So if you like South Park, musicals, comedy, or fun, you need to head over to Scott Hall some time over the next few weeks. I promise you no regrets, unlike the crew of the show which is going to very much regret choosing a play that has this much blood and gore that they have to clean up every night.
The performances are as follows:
April 3-4, April 10-11
8 pm in Scott 135
$5 for students, $8 for others
Also, if you're looking at those posters hanging up all over campus and kicking yourself for not getting involved with this production in a more proactive way, don't fret! There's still time! As our tech director extraordinaire Raj is taking a break from wielding wrenches and is appearing in this show, the tech team is looking for a few people to help fill his sizable shoes. If you want to get involved, e-mail Raj at Raj.Sannidhi@collegeaveplayers.com.

2. Stand-Up Auditions
For those of you who are too much of a loser to know, every semester CAP puts on a stand-up show filled with both veteran and rookie comics. I did it a couple of times and I was very funny. Of course, if you didn't know that we did a stand-up show, you'd have no way of proving me wrong.
Anyway, if you would like to be as cool as me (or more likely, cooler) and perform at our spring show, then come audition! Auditions will be held next week on Wednesday, April 8th at 9:30 pm in Scott Hall.
Auditioners are asked to bring around five minutes of original material. Newcomers should know that you will be getting constructive feedback by the directors and fellow comics. So don't be nervous! There's no way you can do worse than I did!
...I mean, "better than I did". Of course.

3. The College Avenue Players Stand-Up Recession Special (the one that the people who read item #2 just auditioned for)
Hey, speaking of our stand-up show, come see our stand-up show! It will be held the following week on Thursday, April 16th at 9:30 pm in Scott Hall. It will star all of the cream of the crop of the CAP comedic crew (whee, alliterations!) and will cost only $1! That's right, $1! I'm gonna repeat that and throw in italics. $1!
So, go!

4. Wacky Hijinks '09
And now, ladies and gentlemen, comes the most important part of this newsletter: THIS YEAR'S WACKY HIJINKS PERFORMANCE!!! Why is it the most important part? Well, because I'm in Wacky Hijinks. And if any of you losers have a problem with that, well then you can try to be CAP's Secretary, which you can be by reading the next part of this newsletter about elections. But enough of that. Let's get back to the most important part of this newsletter: THIS YEAR'S WACKY HIJINKS PERFORMANCE!!!
Hyperbole aside (rightfully deserved though it may be), we are coming up to the performance of Rutger's only original sketch comedy troupe. To make things even more exciting, this will be Wacky Hijinks' 15th anniversary. To make things even more "more exciting", two of the four performances will take place Off-Broadway. Yeah, seriously. Now do you see why this was the most important part of this e-mail?
The first weekend of this amazing show (I've seen it. Trust me, it's great) will take place on April 24th and 25th at 10:30 PM at The Players Theatre in New York. The theater has a great location right by NYU and Washington Square Park. For direction information go here (http://www.theplayerstheatre.com) and to buy tickets ahead of time, go here (http://tinyurl.com/hijinks-nyc). That second link will take you to the theater's calendar for the month of April. Click on the date for our show that you want and you can purchase tickets.
The next week, we will be performing back at our home base of Scott Hall at 8 PM on May 1st and May 2nd.
While the New York show does cost a bit more than the Rutgers show (regular CAP prices at Rutgers, $16.50 in New York), there will be some added bonuses to seeing our Off-Broadway premiere. We're basically gonna try to do everything you're not allowed to do in a college lecture hall. And, since last month's performance of Bug proved that Rutgers will let theater group's flap their genitals around in the breeze, we're gonna really have to stretch our stuff. Plus, the after parties we have planned will blow minds.
So, yeah, come to this. Or you will kill yourself. And I don't want that shit on my conscience.

5. CAP Board Elections
Yes, I just said "shit" in an official newsletter up there. Do you have a problem with it, loser?
THEN COME TO THE CAP BOARD ELECTIONS! WHOO!
That's right, the year is running down so it's time to find out who will be running our group in the far off year of 2010. That is, of course unless Skynet takes over.
The elections will be held on Tuesday, April 7th in Scott Hall at 9:30 PM.
Come to run! Come to vote! Come to indulge your love of boring speeches!

6. Date Run-Down for Lazy People
Cannibal! the Musical
Friday, April 3
Saturday, April 4
Friday, April 10
Saturday, April 11
8:00 PM
$5 students/ $8 gen adm
Scott 135

Elections
Tuesday, April 7th
9:30 PM
Scott 135

Stand-Up Auditions
Wednesday, April 8th
9:30 PM
Scott 135
Bring 5 min prepared material

College Avenue Players' Stand-Up Recession Special
Thursday, April 16th
9:30 PM
Scott 135
$1.00

Wacky Hijinks @ Players Theatre
Friday, April 24th
Saturday, April 25th
10:30 doors/ 10:45 curtain
$16.50 (that includes $1.50 facility fee, buy online or at the door)
Players Theatre in NYC
Directions/tickets: http://www.theplayerstheatre.org/

Wacky Hijinks @ home
Friday, May 1
Saturday, May 2
8:00 PM
Scott 135
$5 students/ $8 gen adm



Alright. There you have it. All the news for the very busy month of April. If you're still reading this, then I'm doing a better job than I thought I was. Or you've got time to absolutely burn.
Either way, peace!

Jon Bershad
College Avenue Players Secretary